


Renegade's redemption

by Arthfilth



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Action, Character Death, Collectors, Colonist (Mass Effect), Developing Relationship, Epic Battles, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fights, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Garrus Vakarian is a Good Friend, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Love, Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 2, Mass Effect 3, Minor Character Death, Minor EDI/Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Near Death Experiences, Post-Mass Effect 3, Pre-Mass Effect 1, Redemption, Renegade Shepard (Mass Effect), Romance, Ruthless (Mass Effect), Sex, Shepard (Mass Effect) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Slow Romance, Smut, Space Battles, Tags Are Fun, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:35:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24247363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arthfilth/pseuds/Arthfilth
Summary: Shepard has gone through a lot. From a kid left alone in a dark world after the death of his parents and friends on Mindoir, to his victory against the enemy on Torfan, and to his ultimate fight against the Reapers, he had battled against truly terrible odds.Shepard didn't like himself. Not really. Dealing with the ghosts of his past was hard enough without having to fight the present as well. Garrus, his truest friend, would help the soldier, but it wouldn't be until he met a certain Quarian named Tali that things would really start to change.Maybe she was the one that could heal his scars.At least he hoped.(Covers Pre-Mass Effect 1, all the way to Post-Mass Effect 3. I have changed a lot of things and though I will skip over parts you can expect this to be both a different adventure and both the same.)
Relationships: Male Shepard/Tali'Zorah nar Rayya
Comments: 7
Kudos: 8





	1. Birthday Party

"Hey, John, what day is it?"  
  
John felt someone tap his shoulder. Turning with a smile, he knew that his friend, Nathan, was talking to him.  
  
"It's the big day, isn't it?"  
  
Nathan chuckled, before smiling and nodding. "Yep. It's my birthday."  
  
John remembered that and immediately found it funny that he hadn't been able to realize today was indeed the day. Nathan had hyped it up during the week, saying that he'd throw a big party and invite most of his friends, including John. The sixteen-year-old John was quite excited about Nathan's birthday party. Nathan was known to be the one to organize the best parties in the colony. Every single party John had attended was spectacular. Music, food, sweets, games, and even alcohol in the most recent festivities could make this all great. John could only guess what would be brought to the table since Nathan was now turning seventeen.   
  
John smiled back. "I really can't wait, then, Nathan." 

"I'd feel insulted if you weren't excited!"

John felt himself smile again. This was, so far, shaping up to be a good day. "I'm guessing it's at your house, then?"

"Yep. Go to my house at 4 o'clock. I'll be waitin'. For now, I have to set a few things up."  
  
And John had no qualms about that. "Alright, I'll make sure to be there."

"Glad to have you with us." Nathan grinned, and then ran, having to hurry to invite as many people as possible.  
  
 _I can't help but have a bad feeling about this... I hope Nathan doesn't cross a line today and get us in trouble...  
  
_

* * *

John Shepard was having a good day so far. Working in the farms today may have been tough, but John knew the pay off would be more than just worth it. The fun he'd have with his friends tonight would likely be remembered even when he'd be an adult, and he'd probably have a few stories to tell thanks to this evening. John had no idea how right and wrong he was at that moment.   
  
  
He was done working, and while it was nearly four o'clock, John figured he had enough time to get to Nathan's house in time. He just had to run a little. Not that John would complain. He liked running. It helped him clear his mind when he had bad days and it helped him contain his excitement whenever there were big events, like the party. Besides, running kept him in shape, and being in shape was good for the kind of work he did on Mindoir. As he ran past the multiple houses in the colony, he could not shake off the bad feeling that was growing as he neared Nathan's house. He hoped that his gut was wrong, but Shepard's father always told him to listen to his gut's advice. Saved his dad's life a few times before.  
  


_Come on, John. This is going to be a great day. Come on, no reason to feel bad or afraid. The party can't go wrong... Can it?  
_

* * *

"Hey, John!"

"Hi, Melissa." John waved at Melissa. The brown-haired girl had been Nathan's friend first, but John had come to know her as well. "I'm assuming you're going to the party as well."

"Yeah. Can't wait." Melissa's steps were taking her closer to their destination, eagerly going forward.  
  
"Me neither... Though..." John wasn't sure what he was going to tell Melissa, or why he was going to tell her anything at all. "I have a really bad feeling about this. Something bad's going to happen. I know it." John was now looking at Melissa very seriously, his blue eyes practically screaming this wasn't to take lightly.  
  
It seemed to take his friend off guard. She took a step back, avoiding his gaze nervously. "Are you really-"  
  
She was interrupted by the sound of a gunshot. John instantly froze, and so did Melissa, who's eyes were stuck frantically looking around for the source of the ominous sound. "John, did you hear the-"  
  
She was interrupted by John's hand. "Shh! Do you want to get us killed?" He whispered. The spooked woman seemed to tremble a bit but then shook her head. "Then shut up, and run."  
  
That is exactly what she did, deciding to run back home. John shook his head. He couldn't go to the party now, not anymore. There wouldn't be gunshot without a valid reason. Crimes were virtually nonexistent on Mindoir, though that was perhaps due to the low population. That couldn't be it, as even if there was criminal activity, it couldn't possibly go **that** sour. But then... Was someone trying to attack another person? No. That couldn't be it either. He didn't know anyone who had a gun, and from what he could tell, mostly everyone in the colony got along. Those who did not like each other would not go spill blood because of a petty dispute, right?  
  
But then, that left one last terrifying possibility.  
  
The colony was being attacked.  
  
But who? Who would want to attack a peaceful colony, whose citizens had done nothing wrong? What was there to be gained? The colony was defenseless and small, too small to be of interest to any force that was trying to reach the alliance.   
  
_That doesn't matter. Not while my life is on the line.  
  
_ And so, John started running. It was good that he knew how to run fast and well, without tiring himself out. He was now grateful that he had spent so much time in his life running. The adrenalin coursing through his body didn't allow him to stop, and though he was panting, he barely noticed it. The sound of gunshots was now definitely making itself known, and when John felt things were getting a little too close, he threw himself on the ground, hiding behind a stone and then trembling.   
  
_Think of something, damn it! You can't let them kill everyone!  
  
_ John then saw a rather heavy looking rock.   
  
_I know there's no point playing hero, but what are my chances of surviving anyway?_  
  
He looked around and made sure no one saw him, he then took the rock with his two hands and started running out of hiding.  
  
 _I have to get moving. If I don't, they... whoever is attacking us will find me. This rock can probably knock out someone, easily, if I use enough force. The problem is... How do I not get shot down?  
  
_ John came closer to where the shots were heard, but one thing caught his eye.  
  
"J-John... Help me..."  
  
John Shepard immediately turned around, to look at Melissa, hurt on the ground. She had been shot in the chest, and blood was soaking her dress. She obviously didn't have much time left.  
  
"Melissa!" John ran to her side. "How did this happen?!" He asked, shocked. No, no, no, she was with him a moment ago and now she was bleeding out...  
  
"I was looking for Nathan, but... Those... Aliens... Saw me..." She coughed up some blood, tears building up in her eyes from the pain. "I'm sorry..."  
  
"Hang on, Melissa, I'll find something! You'll survive!" John looked around furiously and as quickly as possible, trying to find something that might help Melissa survive. He heard the girl choke a bit before she could say anything else.  
  
She then muttered two words... "J-John... Run..."  
  
John refused. He couldn't let her die. "No! You'll survive...!"   
  
But it was too late. The young woman had no more words to speak, and no more breaths to take. John dropped his stone, feeling his fists ball up. How could he let this happen? Melissa could've followed. She should have followed. But instead, she ran straight to the danger. Shouldn't he have told her that was a bad idea? Shouldn't he have stopped her? He sighed, but then realized that now was not the time to get emotional.  
  
 _No time for regrets. I have to get up. See if I can save anyone else. Where the fuck is Nathan...?_

Taking his rock back, John got up. Turning around, he was ready to head straight in the wolf's mouth, his eyes two orbs of flaming determination. Before going, he looked back at Melissa's body.  
  
 _No one ends up like Melissa. Not on my watch.  
_

* * *

The first thing John noticed was that the place was a fucking mess. The second thing John noticed was that the men with the guns had strange heads. Well, faces. Each of them had four black eyes, the lower pair systematically larger than the higher pair. Their nose was a flat triangle with many lines that seemed to be similar to nostrils in humans. They did not seem to be particularly taller or shorter than humans, but all of them seemed rather fit. Like they were trained to kill. Their armors, or lack thereof, and weapons indicated that they came here ready to kill, but not ready to defend themselves.   
  
_God, these things are_ ugly.  
  
John was hiding behind a house. Luckily, there was another wall just behind that house, which meant he couldn't be spotted that easily. Aliens would have to get close to see him, and that would allow him to smash their head in and take their weapon. And so, he waited for an opportunity. He'd only seen them from afar, but he knew that those... things, were evil. He could see it in their black, malicious eyes. The way they shot down civilians...  
  
He shook his head. _Don't panic. If you panic, you'll miss your shot at the... at the thing.  
  
_ He waited for a few more minutes. He heard speech he could not understand, and it was getting closer. Getting ready to strike, he then saw the bastard coming. He was getting close, a smirk on his face. He had blood on his clothes, and John knew it probably wasn't his.   
  
He froze. Was he really about to do this? The alien was alive. The alien probably had a life outside of this. _Do this for Melissa, do this for Nathan..._ he thought. When the alien was close enough for John to hit with the stone, things slowed down, at least in his perception. He knew he needed to attack...  
The alien had no time to react, as already, his body fell, head bashed in, with blood gushing out.  
  
 _Hard to believe these assholes have the same blood color as us..._ John crouched down, looking on the alien's body. He felt a shiver run up and down his spine. He had killed the alien. He had taken its life and he had won. It felt so wrong, but it felt good... He wasn't weak. He felt like he could do anything but he knew it was horribly wrong. _Think... Think about this later, John. Now's not the time..._ He searched on the alien's body and found a weapon. He read what pistol it was. _An M-3 predator. I... I think I remember the basics. Just pull the trigger while aiming at something. Father taught me some while ago..._

Taking a position that would allow John to see more of his surroundings, he immediately noticed that most aliens were moving on. _Good, they won't expect me blowing their fucking brains apart._ John aimed at one of the last alien's head. He was focused solely on killing those things. He knew how to use a weapon. His dad taught him. Now that John thought about it, his dad was probably the only reason John was still alive at the moment. When he saw them turn away, he shot. He hit the mark nearly perfectly, one ugly green alien falling to the ground, dead. His two comrades turned around, aiming their guns.  
  
 _Shit. I think I fucked up. If I try to shoot they'll put a hole in my head. Or chest._

John grimaced, feeling like his end was near. He'd bottled all that stress up, and he was bound to break eventually. The sixteen-year-old boy heard chatter from the extraterrestrials, and only one started to move towards his place. _Perfect. I can take one at a time if I'm lucky._ The four-eyed alien took slow, careful steps, waving his gun around as though to immediately shoot anyone who would come out of hiding. His waving didn't stop John from being the first to pull the trigger, the bullet placing itself right between the four eyes. Shepard nervously kicked the dead man with his foot, making sure he wouldn't get up. _Yep. Dead...._

John shivered when he thought about the fact he had taken two lives today. _How far will it go...? What did I just do...?_ John then finally came out of hiding. Immediately, he looked at the human bodies. So many lives wasted. He wanted to puke, recognizing a few as friends. For each dead, John took the oath that at least ten of these aliens would suffer the price. _Goddamnit, where is-_

His eyes laid on a body he knew. Someone he had known all his life.  
  
"No... No...! Dad!"

Rushing to the body, his knees then went weak. His father had been so strong. He'd served in the military. John refused to believe this was how his father ended. A soldier deserved a better ending! A peaceful death, surrounded by his family, or at least dying serving his race. Not this! Not a death where he was slaughtered like a sheep, helpless! John's fist smashed against the dirt. Those devils would pay, John would kill them, and he would make it a slow ending. They took Melissa's life, an innocent woman full of dreams, then they took his dad's life. Who next, then? Tears started running down his cheeks, but he knew now wasn't the time for mourning.  
  
 _Wait... Where is my mother, then?_

John immediately got up. If he could save her, then he would. It wasn't too late for Nathan either. With his pistol, he started running after the aliens. He didn't know where they went, but he knew the first one he'd see would suffer before dying. In the distance, he saw five of them, with two women on their knees in front of them. One was about to execute one of them, his pistol pressing against one of the girls' forehead. John looked away as he heard the sound of the shot. The other girl screamed, but she was seemingly spared. _Why though? Why didn't he take out both of them?_

As they walked away dragging the girl with them, John frowned. _I can't let them take innocent lives. No matter why they're bringing her with them, it's probably not good._ John wondered if Nathan and his mother had suffered the same fate. Looking around himself, he then quickly got moving again, before hiding as he heard footsteps come once again closer. He grits his teeth, expecting them to shoot him any time now. They didn't see him. John let out a sigh of relief, before continuing on his path. Holding his pistol, he then headed towards Nathan's house once again. There were no more gunshots. The aliens had won. _Damn it..._

That meant the aliens wouldn't be expecting him, though, and that made it a little bit easier. On the other side, that meant that no one else could be saved. _For fuck's sake, where is Nathan?_ Eventually, John saw the house. There was no one outside, but the door seemed to be jammed. Smashing his fists against it, John felt the most hopeless in his entire life. He failed miserably. Melissa, his father, his mother, and now likely Nathan were to be buried. _This isn't fair! Why??? What was the point?!_

But then, as John hit the door with his fist again, it opened. John looked inside and... It wasn't pretty. Friends and acquaintances he knew were all dead, on the floor. They were definitely shot, some having been shot twice. John fell to his knees. It's not that he didn't expect to find this, but the brutality of it all hit him like a freight train. "No, no, one of them's got to be alive," the boy muttered as he started shaking the bodies. No, they were definitely dead. When John saw Nathan's body, however, he noticed Nathan was still breathing a bit. 

"Nathan!"

The fatally injured boy looked up weakly. He tried to speak but coughed up blood, nearly choking on it. "Stay with me, Nathan!" John started looking around frantically. They had to have something to save him! _I will not sit and watch another friend die!_   
  
"D-Don't..." 

"What? Nathan, are you out of your mind? I-I can save you!"

"The pain... too much..."

"Nathan, don't let go! We can make it out!"

Nathan looked up, his eyes full of pain and fear. "It hurts... It's killing me... Slowly... John, do me a favor..."

John rushed back to Nathan's side. This could not be real. This had to be a nightmare. Maybe John would wake up and the next day would be normal. If there was something John could do, though, it was to do what Nathan wanted him to do.

"K-Kill me... now..."

"W-What?! N-No! I can't do that! N-No one gets left behind!"

"No, you don't- [Nathan had a coughing fit, regurgitating more blood.] you don't get it...! I-I don't want to wait...!"

John closed his eyes, feeling tears starting to roll down his cheeks. _This isn't right... You can't do this to me..._ John opened his eyes, looking at his dying friend. Nathan had been shot in the leg, and very clearly beat up. His face was bruised, his lips were swollen and bleeding and there was a large cut on his forehead. Blood sept out of the wound, running down his face. John also noticed several spots on his friend's clothes that were soaked in blood. Nathan was very clearly bleeding out. _I... I can't leave him here to die. I don't want him to have a slow, painful death._ With trembling hands, John raised his M-3 Predator up and pointed it at Nathan's head. John hoped that at point-blank, the shot would instantly kill his friend. 

"Goodbye... Nathan..."

And John pulled the trigger.

* * *

Sitting outside of the colony, John Shepard felt alone. More alone than he'd ever been before. He also felt like a sack of shit, looking at his M-3 Predator with a sad frown. _This weapon took the life of a few aliens and saved my life. But it also took the life of my friend._ John sighed. What was the point now? Putting the pistol down, John was now sure that he'd die soon. By the hand of an alien, or by the hand of hunger, or by his own hand. _What should I do now? Run back and get myself killed bravely? No. I feel like my body is too heavy._

And so, John waited. What for? He did not know.


	2. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I got lazy here! Luckily, you'll have the third chapter soon. Promise.

John Shepard’s eyes shot open. Grunting, he slowly sat up on the bed, wiping the perspiration from his forehead.   
  
_ Damn it John… Forget about what happened on Mindoir already. _

That was what John told himself every morning since that fateful day. Nightmares always plagued his sleep, no matter what he tried on the evening. Relaxation, music, narration, and even alcohol and drugs once. It never worked as intended.

Staying in bed for a few minutes, he reflected on the lives he’d taken that day. He remembered his first kill.  _ I took the bastard by surprise and discovered his blood was red, like mine _ . At the time, he’d felt shocked. The high of the first kill, knowing you outsmarted and overpowered another didn’t seem like too much. Of course he’d questioned himself, but that came later.

The thing that had bugged him the most was Nathan’s death.  _ He was my friend. I might’ve been able to help him had I not been somewhat panicking. Surely I could’ve found medi-gel. I may even have been able to drag him away, and he’d have been rescued with me. Instead, I gave in to his demand and killed him. _

He stared up at the ceiling. Ironic. He’d killed in cold blood, but also in self-defense. He’d enjoyed killing his enemies, but at the same time he had hated it. And now he was part of the Alliance Navy.  _ I’m a hero to civilians, and yet, I kill daily. _

That always sounded wrong to say. But it didn’t sound so wrong when he realized that he only killed those that “deserved” it. Another way to say it was that he only killed those on the wrong side.  _ They’d do the same to me. I have no qualms about killing to defend myself.  _ He knew those weren’t valid justifications, but what could he tell himself other than that?

He found himself sighing as he got out of bed. _I can’t_ _ stay in bed all the time. _ He then put on his armor, before taking a look at himself in the mirror. He knew that today, they’d land on Torfan.  _ I’ve heard there are batarians on that moon.  _ John couldn’t deny he was a bit excited. Those kinds of missions were the only reason he was living. He knew that these dangerous missions, the ones he could possibly not return from, were making him useful. After Mindoir was massacred, John joined the Alliance as a soldier. He was a natural with guns and grenades, and though he wasn’t forced to train as much as the others, he still trained daily, even today. That was one way to pass time and to forget. 

_ Well, in this armor, I’m as ready to go as ever. _

Once John was ready, he walked to his door. Stopping at it and hesitating, though he did not know why, he then opened it, stepping out of his quarters. Before he could even look around, his voice was quickly called out. “Lieutenant Shepard!”

That had been quick. The woman might’ve walked on him if he hadn’t gotten out just now. Being called this early in the morning was still very annoying.

“What is it?” John asked with irritation.

The woman looked nervous, looking down to avoid John’s gaze. She knew Shepard wouldn’t like what she was going to tell him. “... Major Kyle would like to speak with you.”   
  
John rolled his eyes. Major Kyle, the commanding officer himself? John had other plans for the morning. “Can this not wait?”

“Well… Err… He wants you now.”

_ Well, there’s no avoiding it.  _ John sighed. “Fine.”

* * *

  
  
  


“Lieutenant John Shepard.” Major Kyle had a very serious look on his face. “You know what we’re up against on Torfan, do you?”

John Shepard spoke honestly. He was trying not to sound too disrespectful. “Yes, I do, actually. That’s the whole reason I’m here. To kill some batarians.”

“Well, we have to talk about exactly that,” Major Kyle said, looking right into Shepard’s eyes. There was a sharp glint in Major Kyle’s eyes. “I know what happened on Mindoir.”

_ That’s insensitive. He’s expecting me not to react at the word alone?  _ John felt rage build up inside of him at the simple mention of his home planet. It was something he wanted to forget. Decidedly, life wanted otherwise.

He bit back a retort. Talking the way he was about to was bad enough, but if it was towards a superior officer, it was even worse. It took him everything in the world to somewhat calmly answer, “And? What does change?”   
  
“I know you must hate batarians, but-”

“Get to the fucking point.”

Major Kyle shot daggers at John with his eyes, but he simply sighed, knowing that John wouldn’t like Mindoir to be mentioned. “Don’t get too hot-headed. No matter how much you hate them, you shouldn’t let anger dictate your actions.” Major Kyle took a pause as John was staring at him intensely.  _ I’m not taking shit from him. _ “I’d… hate to lose you or a large portion of soldiers because of you. Don’t play hero.”

John inhaled, and then exhaled to try to calm himself down. ”Trust me, you won’t lose me or any soldier. But you’re not the one that’s going to tell me I’m supposed to not play hero. We’ll see how things play out.”

“Shepard, you know how this works. It’s not so simple. If you get too stubborn or too-

“All you need to know is that I’m going to make this mission succeed. No matter the cost.”

The major let out a defeated sigh. Clearly, there was no reasoning with the young soldier. “Alright. Good to hear, John Shepard... And I’m sorry about Mindoir, again. You can go now.”

John balled his fists together.  _ Mindoir this, Mindoir that, sorry about Mindoir, wish Mindoir was still intact, just shut up about it already and let me live. Mindoir doesn’t matter.  _ That was what John wanted to say. But he only mumbled, “Of course.”

_ If you actually were sorry, you would have never mentioned it. _

* * *

  
  
John walked out the door, an unhappy look on his face. That hadn’t gone well. 

“Hey, John. How did your conversation with Major Kyle go?” The man who asked was one of John’s acquaintances. Shepard was usually distant and did not like getting too close to friends. Last time he did so, it ended badly. The guy was named Luke and was sympathetic enough.

_ Fucking shit. Why do so many people want to talk today? I don’t feel like talking.  _

“That’s none of your business, Luke.” In other words: badly.

The other soldier put his hand on John’s shoulder. “Come on, man. You’re all cold and ruthless outside, but that hardly means we can’t talk.”

“No. I don’t want to talk today. Please leave me alone.”

Luke shrugged. “... Fine. I guess the conversation didn’t go well, then.” _Yep. Great observation if it took you so long._ John got what he wanted as Luke walked away. _I like my mornings to myself. It’s nothing personal._   
As John walked in the ship, he looked around at the multiple people. Some looked back at him, but quickly averted their gaze. _I haven’t been very friendly since I joined the navy._

John remembered the day he joined the Alliance. He hated to admit it, but Mindoir was still fresh on his mind after all this time.

* * *

He was still sitting at that damn place, his Predator pistol still in hand. He wasn’t sure what to do with it and was still waiting. It had been a whole goddamn day, and the night was slowly setting in. It was getting cold, and John curled up to try and keep some warmth. He was alone, hopeless, and he might be waiting here for no reason at all.  _ Why? Why am I waiting? What am I expecting? Will I just wake up from this horrible nightmare? _

There wasn’t any waking up and John knew that. The cold was creeping on him and what had happened today kept him from sleeping. It was like a ghost was haunting him, its cold hands and claws running up and down his body, and occasionally scratching, scratching deep enough for it to burn.  _ Why? Why us? _

He still saw himself holding that pistol and pointing it at Nathan’s head. He still heard the sound of the shot being fired. His hands were still covered in blood, and that would be for the rest of his life.

_ It’s not my fault. It’s because of these aliens! If they hadn’t come, I wouldn’t have had to kill Nathan! _

And Melissa? That was his fault… Partly. Or maybe totally. He didn’t know. He only knew he let her run into the fire and didn’t question it when he could have kept her from getting herself killed.  _ Fuck… _

Shepard was now about to pass out, but a voice brought him back to reality. He jumped up, taking his pistol.  _ They’ve found me… They’re going to kill me… _

“I think I see something!”

He heard human voices. He dropped his pistol with shaking hands. Were there survivors? He was both disappointed and relieved to see that armed men with guns were approaching.  _ No survivors.  _ They were part of the Alliance, very clearly, wearing their armors proudly. He stared blankly until he heard them shout again.

“It’s a survivor…!” 

There were two men. They rushed to him, and once they were close to him, one bent to his knees and checked John for injuries. “Are you wounded?”   
  
“Nothing serious… I think…” John said with uncertainty. His body was aching, sure, but he wasn’t bedridden.

Another question was fired at him. “What happened?”

John was avoiding the soldier’s gaze. It was painful to say the next few words.“We were… attacked. By aliens.”

The two soldiers looked at each other knowingly. Only one of them opened his mouth to speak. “How many eyes did they have?”   
  
Shepard remembered that well, luckily. “Four.”  _ Four disgusting eyes, full of greed and hatred. _

The soldiers looked at each other again and gave a nod. They didn’t seem surprised. “You’ve been attacked by the batarians. They’ve been attacking several colonies and have made many into slaves.” Upon hearing that, John felt his word sink even more. That meant that the girl he saw was now… working, for them. And he didn’t know the kind of work she was doing. It hit him that his mother might’ve met the same fate.  _ That’s… That’s worse than death…  _

One of the two soldiers put his hand to John’s shoulder. “I know it’s hard hearing this, but you have to go. Now. You’re at risk of dying here.”  _ And where would I go then?  _ “Carl will get you to the shuttle…” He pointed to the other soldier. His eyes then looked down at the pistol John was holding in his hands. “Where did you get that weapon?”

The survivor looked at the gun.  _ It took a few lives today, and I was the one to pull the trigger. _ He didn’t want to talk about it too much, but he knew the soldier would question him if he lied-- John was never a good liar. “I… I looted it from a batarian.”

The soldier sighed. “Please give it to us.” He extended his hand towards John, expecting him to give him the pistol.

John was skeptical.  _ This gun... I want to keep it. It’s… going to be significant to me. And a good weapon can save my life a few times again.  _ “... No. I need a way to defend myself.”

The soldier was about to open his mouth, but the one called Carl interrupted him. “Raph, he’s shaken. Let him keep the weapon for now.”

“Fine. I’ll go investigate the colony from a closer look.” Raph nodded, before starting to run towards the other direction. Carl then looked at John with pity. “Come with me.”

And so, Shepard was rescued.

* * *

  
  
_ Never again.  _

  
  


_ Luckily, we’re going to kill some batarians today. _

**Author's Note:**

> Mass Effect is, in my opinion, one of the best trilogies ever, perhaps only on par to the Witcher's universe itself. The ending in itself isn't that bad, in my opinion, and isn't enough to spoil a series so good. Besides, this Fanfiction will definitely tweak things so it makes a bit more sense.
> 
> In any case. I've been replaying the Mass Effect games in the recent weeks due to the quarantine. It was the best decision ever. I was only a child when playing the first Mass Effect game and only a teen when finishing the trilogy with teary eyes. Expect the details not to be as good as they could be, though trust me, I will make sure I can fix that.


End file.
